At the beginning of this year’s stay-at-home, social-distancing orders, several jokes and internet memes went around with similar punchlines: “I’ve been training for this all my life!” The dawning of the age of coronavirus became a time for introverts to shine, albeit mostly by themselves.

There were others who struggled with this enforced alone time from start to finish. It was difficult for them. They missed their people. They were ready for the isolation to end on day two, or maybe sooner.

And many, it seems, felt trapped in their homes with family or roommates. They couldn’t find the quiet space they needed. Others cherished the chance to finally spend extended time with just family.

Isolation, alone time, solitude — people react to this each in their own way, of course. And it strikes people differently when it is a voluntary state rather than mandated by the authorities. It feels different if you know you can ‘break out’ at any point, rather than being locked in ‘until it’s safe’ or whatever. We have to grant this from the beginning. Just as some people have real difficulty with silence, some cannot picture voluntarily practicing solitude.

“Of course,” writes N.T. Wright, “being by yourself is often very desirable. … Differences in temperament, upbringing, and other circumstances have a large part to play in this. But most people do not want complete, long-term solitariness. In fact, most people, even those who are naturally shy and introverted, do not normally choose to be alone all the time. Some do so for religious reasons, becoming hermits. Others do so to escape danger, as when a convicted criminal chooses solitary confinement rather than face prison violence. But even those who make such choices are usually conscious that this is abnormal.” (Tom Wright. Simply Christian. London: SPCK, 2006, p. 26)

Why is that? Partly because we humans are social creatures, made for community and relationship. “It is not good that man should be alone.” (Gen. 2:18) So most people shy away from voluntary solitude. And that makes the choice for solitude abnormal, out of the ordinary, different from the popular choice of the masses.

Yet the discipline of solitude, while perhaps abnormal, is not wrong. Reading the lives of the Christian saints, you find that many of them spent time in solitude. Often at the beginning of their ministries, but often also at times of transition, or near the end of their earthly existence, many of these Christians have spent time (maybe years) apart from society.

Solitude, as a spiritual discipline, is a time to listen to the Lord, a time to prepare for future work or to reflect on work completed, a time to hop off the merry-go-round of life and find out what you’re being called to do next. It’s a retreat. Solitude creates necessary space that insulates you from the usual voices (usually well-meaning, but sometimes not). Stripping away those distractions makes it easier to focus on your most important relationship.

For example, you may have heard of Jesus. He spent 40 days alone between his baptism and the start of his public ministry. “The clarity of thought and action that would later characterize Jesus’ public ministry came from his years of preparation in solitude and anonymity. The core of that preparation was meeting God in the secret place of his inner self. It was through meeting God in places of solitude that Jesus discovered his identity and grew in intimacy with God.” (David G. Benner. The Gift of Being Yourself. Expanded ed. Downers Grove, Ill: IVP Books, 2015, p. 87)

Then at other important waypoints in his life the Gospels tell us that Jesus went away by himself to pray. Those shorter spans of solitude are honestly what most readers here will seek or experience. These brief, even daily, periods of solitude let us step apart to catch our breath, to re-focus, to re-center, to begin afresh.

We may even find a way to be in solitude internally while in the presence of others. Early in the 20th century Antonin Sertillanges wrote of the benefits of working in solitude, then added:

“But note that this complete solitude, the only favorable atmosphere for work, need not be understood physically. Someone else’s presence may double, instead of disturbing, your quietude. To have near you another worker equally ardent, a friend absorbed in some kindred thought or occupation, a chosen spirit who understands your work, joins in it, seconds your effort by silent affection and a keenness fired by your own — that is not a distraction, it is a help.” (Antonin G. Sertillanges, O.P. The Intellectual Life: its Spirit, Conditions, Methods. Washington, DC: The Catholic University of America Press, 1987, p. 98)

This is more along the lines of our busy Lord alternating between the crowds and his disciples, taking time for others and time to be alone.

Yet not alone.

For even in the midst of lengthy periods of solitude none of us are by ourselves. Perhaps the tempter or his slaves may come to you as to Jesus in the wilderness. But perhaps he will not. Because the one who IS “with you always even unto the end of the world” (Matt. 28:20) will of course be with you in your alone time and solitude.

That last thought is why we even consider solitude to be a Christian spiritual discipline. Withdrawing from the uproar of daily life means that you can so much more easily spend time with God alone. This is important because it is how God meets us and shows us his love: one by one by one.

God is spending that time with you, certainly, but you can easily miss the chance to take advantage of it. If you fill your solitude time with your music or shows or social media tribe, you aren’t really alone. You’re with them. As I understand it that’s how many people spent the last weeks and months: filling all the empty and quiet space in their life with the digital sounds of other people.

Now that the country is opening up again (at least until the hard recoil of the virus pandemic washes back into us), perhaps you can look at how you spent your time away from your accustomed friends and co-workers, your extended family and others. Was it a fruitful time as it was for Jesus? Or did it drive you up the walls? Why was it that way?

And more importantly, how will you take advantage of the experience of enforced solitude to begin a habit of cultivating bits of spiritual solitude going forward? When you go into it voluntarily and willingly, it becomes a comfortable, relaxing, fulfilling, refreshing, renewing place of spiritual retreat.